Fi'ty

Remember my story about the guy who sang the catchy little ditty about a book for his girlfriend?

Well the saga of Fi'ty has come to a sad end.

After the day I refused him fifty cents, Fi'ty became one of our better regulars at the store, asking for free water and napping quietly and unobtrusively upstairs in the lounge. If there's one thing I've learned at this job, there are plenty of loud and obtrusive ways to nap, and this guy was a nap pro. No snoring, no stinky feet, no disruptive sounds, no accosting other customers who took his couch; in short, just the kind of regular we want to have around.


So it was with great surprise that, one Tuesday, driving downtown, I saw Fi'ty getting hauled into the back of a police cruiser. Surprise, but not shock or horror; plenty of folks in Harrisburg have the cops after them. As "Isaac Newton" told me once "Sometimes the cops got it out for ya, but they can't be out following every warrant every night, and it's best to get to know the ones you can." I figured Fi'ty had stumbled into some minor trouble. My upstairs neighbor at my new place had received a notice bearing the words "I am authorized to arrest you on sight" because of a surfeit of unpaid parking tickets, so Fi'ty's arrest was something passed right through my mind that night.

Of course, it shouldn't have. Earlier that week, an acquaintance was filling me in on an armed robbery at a local handicraft shop. "Robbing that place was his first mistake," he said, "A craft store? What was he after? Screen printed T-shirts?"

You have by now realized that the robber was none other than Fi'ty, and no, he was not after screen printed t-shirts. Yes, he went about his robbery in an unfortunately ill-prepared manner. According to the Patriot News' reportage, he entered the store, browsed awhile, then pulled on a ski mask and, threatening the clerk with a knife, took all the money from the cash drawer. He was arrested a few hours later with all the money still on him. He was sitting on a stoop a few blocks away on the same street. Re-read those last sentences and realize how little premeditation went into this crime. He had the money on him. He put on the ski mask after entering the store. He was sitting on a stoop on the same street. It was on the stoop that I saw Fi'ty getting taken away.

This story raises an important postscript: What does one say to an acquaintance after he is released from jail? Should he be allowed back into the store? After all, as Beth (one of my managers) pointed out, "He wouldn't rob us. He sleeps here," demonstrating a clear understanding of the principle of "you don't shit where you eat." Still, should re-entry be denied as a consequence, a loss of the (business) community's trust in Fi'ty? And why are these decisions left to the business community? Is the regular community in a place to welcome Fi'ty back from jail and take steps to ensure that he doesn't do things that lead back there?

And of course, the P.P.S. that, comically and tragically, ran through my head anytime news about this whole story was broken to me: "Fi'ty cent / Fi'ty cent / book for my girlfrien' / fi'ty cent."