Captain Ahab, Zombie Hunter

Nathan and Matt, at the apartment, dressed up in Zombie regalia: sickly green facepaint, wounds, torn clothes, etc. They opened the door at the bottom of the stairs. The second floor door creaked as it opened. From within emerged... Zombie Larry The Cable Guy!

"Oh hey Jon," said Nathan. "Where are you going?"
"Appalchian Brewing Company's zombie party. You?"
"The bookstore's zombie party."
"Cool."

Thus allied, the 3-man zombie horde marched down, through the vestibule, and parted ways on the front porch, moaning "BRAAAAAINS..."

---

From behind the coffee bar, I pulled espresso shots and gave basic explanations of nineteenth century whaling practices.

"See, Greg," said Ryan, "The problem is that no one can tell that you're Ahab without your harpoon. You're just wearing what you usually wear."
"Look at my hands," I said. I had drawn a whale on one and the anchor on the other. "Sea tattoos."
"It needs more," said Ryan. "Gimme that sharpie."

Five minutes later, I was sporting a full rigged ship and a forearm anchor.

"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee!"

---

The zombies started arriving around six. Soon, the store was overrun, and I, Captain Ahab, Zombie Hunter, had to fend them off with my harpoon. Defeated, the zombies departed the store. Minutes later, Nathan and Matt, still in full zombie regalia, arrived.


"Where are the zombies?" said Nathan.
"Not sure how to tell you this," I said. "They're gone."

Score one for the humans.